Sunday, October 14, 2007

Not-so Brief update

I say "not-so brief, because so much has happened since my last post that even just an update can't be brief.
Here goes, we learned that with PSP Gma is losing her vision. Not because of her eyes, but because of their inability to work together.
She fell while getting into her chair, fracturing her clavicle. She's been in a sling for 3 weeks now. This means that she can't do anything on her own. Including bathrooming. So, every few hours, I have to take her. I haven't had a good nights sleep in ages!! This has left me exhausted and sometimes very cranky.
Before her accident, I was looking into adult day care. This has been my sanity the last 3 weeks. It's absolutely wonderful. Gma gets to interact with other people, has different activities each day, healthy meals, and a nurse available. The staff at the center has been tremendously helpful. They offer advice in how to handle certain situations. Most importantly, it allows me time to myself and with my family. I can't say enough great things about it.
After her injury, the very well meaning doctor put her on Darvaset. This was very, very bad. The medication made Gma "bonkers". She was off balance, hard to understand, even harder for her to understand us. I only kept her on this med for a few days and then switched her to OTC meds.
She has also started hallucinating. This is common with psp and dementia. So far, they have been "friendly" although very confusing for her. It's hard to explain to her that someone she's positive she saw, wasn't really there.
After all this, she fell again!! This time she seems to have bruised her ribs. She's very uncomfortable again. I took her for x-rays and they aren't broken, but there's really nothing that can be done. We ice it frequently.
I know more has happened, but I'm too tired to remember it. Overall, things are ok. It's been much harder than I expected. I had no idea she'd go downhill so quickly. It took me awhile to realize that I was trying to do this in my own strength. I'm just not strong enough. I don't have enough patience. I have learned to pray daily that I the Lord would meet her needs through me. I know I can't keep her in a bubble but I try to keep things as safe as possible. Still I feel guilty when she gets hurt. I forget sometimes that she is still an adult and she makes her own decisions. Unfortunately, she is unable to understand her limitations. It makes each day interesting.

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